Echoes and memories

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It’s a day when I felt like I was racing the clock all day long. I was working as quickly as I could, and yet couldn’t keep up with the speeding minutes. How am I supposed to live the glory life when I just feel behind and rushed and so plagued by that darn clock that seems to be speeding up every time I look at it?

The girl comes home from school, screaming. Another messy tantrum to deal with.   *sigh*   And then there’s homework, and chores, and lots of chopping for tonight’s dinner. And kids aren’t listening to me. They are squabbling. They aren’t doing the things that I expect them to. {Like, why are there knapsacks and lunch boxes and papers and agendas and book bags all over the living room?} Then there’s a shart* in someone’s pants to deal with. Usually a bath would be the remedy for this, but hubs has declared the shower/bathtub out of commission until he fixes the leak that sends water somewhere through the walls onto the basement floor.

Does it ever end?

But I have to smile, thinly, because I know that yes, it will end one day. The kids will grow up. They will leave. And I will rue the quiet house and run my fingers through my greying hair while wondering where the time went.

I already know where it went: it sped by.

Minute by minute into

hour by hour into

day by day into

weeks…. months…. years… in no time at all…

Then I’m back in that spot of being desperate for some quiet and a tea and I’m still hearing the pitter patter of feet visiting the bathroom, nearly half an hour after being put to bed. I begin to get angry… after a long day is it too much to ask for an uninterruped tea time and someone not out of bed??!?

But then I am reminded of that moment tonight when I had a hard time keeping a straight face while son #2 does a dance while getting (yet another) pair of underwear on, that son #1 calls the “front hind dance”.  {As opposed to “be-hind”}. I’m trying to be all serious and solemn about the fact that he needs to get into bed a.s.a.p. but then he goes and does this crazy little dance to the tune of his laughing brother, and I give up on the serious and I embrace the moment, the lovely moment, that will be gone before I know it. I laugh out loud.

Because I know that all I will have in a few years is the echoes and the memories.

——————————————————————————————————————————————–

*shart =  mess in one’s underwear… bigger than a skid

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4 responses »

  1. LOL! I alternate between feeling like I will forever be raving mad and craving a tiny slice of time to myself and panicked over how quickly the time flies by and that someday in what seems like the very near future my boys will be grown and moved out. It is quite the balancing act, is it not? 🙂

  2. K.
    Just what I needed to be reminded of today. Yesterday I had to put down my friend and companion of almost 19 years….my precious cat Sydney. I sobbed like a child because he often made me feel safe enough to be a child. As I ache for his little body to snuggle with and his royal face, you have reminded me to remember those special memories that recede like the tide into my past. Like the time I found him in thr living room with both paws around my journal. I imagined him reading it and laughed at his lion expression. Then there were the many times before I was married that sydney would spoon my arm when I was struggling with my depression. I knew he was tuned to my emotions. I thank Yeshua for the gift of my precious boy! Enjoy your return home my special little friend and the joy of being held by yeshua.
    Missing you,
    Mom/Terry

    • Oh Ter…. so sorry to hear of that hole in your heart right now. I ache for you in your pain, and I pray that the comfort of Jesus would be so close that you could feel HIm with His arms wrapped right around you. Yes, I thank Jesus for the special cat Sydney was and the ways that he touched you. I pray that another little friend will find its way into your heart and home when the time is right for you. Much love, K

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