A bittersweet place

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It’s amazing how joy and heartbreak can be so close.

The phone call that shattered my day came around noon. An irate person on the other end of the phone gave me an earful… and more. Stunned by the ferocity of emotion that came from the receiver I was a bit taken aback. Lost for words. So I just listened to her tirade.

After I hung up, the adrenalin hit my system and I began to shake.  I couldn’t hold back the flood.

In my distress, I called a friend. I needed to tell someone, to share the absolute tidal surge of emotion that felt so overwhelming, the tsunami of tears that could not be contained.

One friend listened, and then prayed, right in the middle of a decor store where she was picking out tile for her new kitchen. (Bless you, friend! Would that I could be more concerned about a friend in need of prayer than the opinions of eavesdropping ears around me!) Another friend prayed over the phone as she was trying to get out the door somewhere. To have people to call, to have them pray for me… what an incredible gift.

The peace of Christ dwelt close to me today. On the verge of tears all day, I realize there is more to the story than I see. And I trust. I trust in Him to know the whole story, to work through the story all the way to the ending. It is a bittersweet place to be; in a place of hurt and distress, but also so closely held in the arms of the Saviour. My friends prayed me into that place. And I know that I was there because the Word says, “God is close to the brokenhearted” (Ps.34:18).

I also looked back at the Scriptures that I had highlighted during my morning quiet time. One was “Give thanks to the Lord, His love never quits.” (2 Chr.20:21) Absolutely. I can give thanks despite every circumstance because I know that His love never quits. The other one that was highlighted to me was from Heb.12:2 “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…”  So I tried to fix my eyes on Jesus, not on my present circumstances nor the emotional upheaval rocking my world.

I was also reminded about last night when I was driving with my daughter. She was singing in the back seat, a song about not being anxious. The interesting thing was, she kept adding words, even though they were not part of the original song. I smiled to myself as she sang.

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough worries of its own. That’s how the song goes. But then she added, “Do not worry about the next day after tomorrow, for that day has enough worries of its own…. Do not worry about the next day after the next day, for that day has enough worries of its own…. Do not worry about the next day after the next day after the next day….”

God was speaking to my heart. He knows how I can tend to worry. He was reminding me that each day comes with its own set of worries. I had no idea what was coming today, but He did. He knew my heart needed that reminder.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, that transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus  (Phil.4:6-7).

I believe it. I know it. God is so faithful!

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3 responses »

  1. Courage… vulnerability… tears… friends…
    you are good at taking what is
    and weaving it into
    the tapestry.

    Life.

    Your life.
    Abundant life.
    Tears are sometimes
    the gateway… Jesus wept.

      • Sometimes poetry is a lot like life.
        In poetry “less” often becomes “more”…
        What is unsaid leaves space

        for the mystery.

        You live your life
        open to the mystery…
        What’s not to be recommended in that?

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