Epic fail?


The night after a very encouraging gathering with some like-minded homeschooling women I get some seriously awful behaviour inflicted upon me by one of my little people. The kind of behaviour that had me crying behind a locked door.

Parenting….. um, can you say ‘epic fail’?   Uh huh… yup. ‘Cause that’s sure what it felt like in the moment.

At the library we run into a woman from church. We have a brief conversation and then she asks why my kids aren’t in school. When I tell her I homeschool my eldest, there is no real response. Just a stony, confused-kind-of stare. She works in children’s mental health, and I wonder what is going on behind her stony mask.

Later in the day, after a wonderful outing with the kids, I get called an ugly name by the same, angry boy from the morning.

Ummm… what’s the deal?

My confusion is great.

One of the reasons I homeschool is to teach my kids Christ-like love, for God, and for others. And this is the return on my investment?   Seriously?

Failure is not an option.

Not in parenting. One cannot just quit this job.

I believe that God blessed me with children. He has lent them to me for only a short time; and although the days can sometimes be long, the years are short.

So where do I go for encouragement? For the wisdom I so desperately need?

To my rock and strength: Jesus.  He is the author and perfecter of my faith. And he has my kids in his grasp. It is Jesus who rescues us from our sin and the hurts we inflict on others.

I come to Him on my knees, cut to the heart. An epic failure on her knees.

And He answers with love: there are no epic fails in Him. He restores all.

Jer.17:7,8    “… but blessed is the {one} who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit…

Jer.31:3-4     The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again, and you will  be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful… ”

Jer.31:16- 17    This is what the Lord says: “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,” declares the Lord. “They will return from the land of the enemy. So there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord. “Your children will return to their own land.”


One response »

  1. I’ve been thinking on the comments you’ve shared here. Real life is interesting in how often it kindly (or unkindly) leads us to the examination of our assumptions. Assumptions about ourselves, our friends, our little people, homeschooling, sanity, motherhood, Christ-like love, Jesus, encouragement, failure, epic failure… we act on our assumptions (sometimes as faithfully as we are able) and yet the outcomes so often surprise us in their diversity and mystery. In life, how often does it happen that the one doing the teaching ultimately ends up being the one who is taught? You’ve probably personally chosen to walk the paths of wisdom (as you see and understand them)… for sure, those are paradoxical paths right from the start. Thanks for sharing and for being the type of person who would venture out on such a journey.

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