I audaciously asked.
And God answered.
As the woman spoke to me, I stood there, giddy smile on my face; I couldn’t wipe it off.
I’ve been pondering a lot about ‘calling’ since the beginning of my course on Listening Evangelism at my church. We have been discussing the ‘what’ and ‘where’ portion of where God might be calling us to share more about Him. In going over the notes on the ‘what’ of calling, I felt as if something was lacking in regards to my own calling, or what I thought was my calling right now. I was missing confirmation by other Spirit-filled Christians, who can attest to the fact, or who can affirm you in what you are doing, helping you discern that yes, this is from God.
This morning I sat down and decided to ask God for something, in the spirit of Gideon and his fleece (Judges 6:36-38), or in the spirit of the verse in Matthew 7 “Ask and it will be given to you…”
“All right God,” I said, “here goes.”
So I prayed, earnestly and honestly. I wanted to make sure that what I thought was my calling was actually a calling from God, and not just me making things up. I asked God that someone might approach me, someone who knows and loves Him and is able to listen to His spirit. The key was that this person couldn’t know what my question was, or even that I had asked a question of God. I also told God that I would be willing to wait for an answer, for a long time, if that was necessary. (But…well… I would prefer a quicker answer… but in Your timing, Lord, in your timing! ; )
A woman approached me this evening and confessed that she had been praying for me this afternoon and what came to her was this sense:
“You know your calling. You are walking in your calling. And it is preparation for other things yet to come…”
Talk about a precise answer to prayer! Hence, the giddy smile on my face as she spoke.
Sometimes this calling seems too big, too scary for me to endure. Sometimes I question whether or not I can do it. I am like Gideon when he says to God, “But Lord, how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family” (Judges 6:15)
‘But isn’t that the point?‘ whispers Jesus to my heart. ‘It is too big for you to manage on your own and therefore you run to your knees in prayer. You have to depend on me for strength, for courage, for wisdom and for answers.’
Yes, Jesus, that is the point. You don’t call the equipped, necessarily. You equip the called. And so I will walk by faith, so thankful, so very thankful, for the way that you answered me. (And I still can’t wipe that giddy, joyful smile from my face either… )