Oh Lord, my heart hurts. Again….

It seems the older I become … (gracefully, beautifully, right?… perhaps I could reword that?) As I ‘mature’, it seems that there is more loss,  more pain that I uncover. Not only in myself, as I have written about before, but also in the lives of others. In the world. And sometimes it just weighs so heavy on my heart. It makes me wonder about how much Jesus must cry, if he knows every tear that others shed.

A friend of mine and I sat after church this past Sunday, both with tears in our eyes, as we shared the painful stories of others that we had heard about that week. We cried as our hearts hurt for other women whose lives have been touched by tragedy recently.

She shared about her neighbour who has twin boys, just 5 years old. This precious little family lost their husband/daddy suddenly this past Christmas. And then this same woman just lost her mother to cancer. Two deaths of significant others in the space of months. So much pain for a young mom to carry right now. The burden must feel so heavy.

A mom from our twins group loses one twin part way through the pregnancy. Sadness and grief. But happily, there is one baby still growing inside. There is still hope of a precious new life. A few days ago she went to the hospital to give birth to the other twin and she didn’t come home. She died in childbirth.

How does that happen here in Canada?!?

I know that all over the world, especially in developing countries where medical care is unreliable, or unreachable, pregnancy and childbirth is risky for women. Our brave sisters, half a world away.

It doesn’t make it any less of a tragedy in another country, but hearing about it within my own community of twin moms that hold each other close through the tough times of the first few years, it hit home.

And I think about that little, precious baby, fresh from the hand of God, whose life, even before breath on earth began, was touched by tragedy.

God, who carefully knit this little one together, determined this little one’s days before the world began.

Within the womb, their closest friend was taken from them with no explanation. And then at birth, more tragedy. A mama heart lost to death. This sweet little thing has already lost two of the most important people in their life. And not even a day old.

What does that do to a little spirit?

Oh God, would you hold that little one tight? Would you surround that baby with so much Father love and hold it close to your heart? Will you please whisper to its little spirit about life, about love, about you? For how else can that wee one overcome such significant loss? Oh Jesus, hold that family in your hand, tightly. Wrap your cloak of love around them. And Spirit, breathe upon them such tender love that they will be able to feel your strength under their sad, burdened wings.

And would you, dear reader, please add your prayers to mine for this baby, for these two families who are struggling under such grief and pain right now? I don’t know if either of them know Jesus.

But we do know that our friend Jesus was a man, familiar with sorrow. He wept. And I know that He is right beside us, right beside others, in the deep darkness of their pain and loss and grief. He holds us tight and weeps with us.


The She Speaks Conference is about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father God. Is the desire of your heart to serve Him and His daughters, as He leads? If so, and you would like a scholarship opportunity, please visit:







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